The Median Student

The median student (not the average topper, not the average loser, but the average, average guy in any classroom) is a funny species. What goes through our minds is idiosyncratic to our kind and if you are not one, you cannot appreciate it. So this blog is dedicated to those of you who fall under the "Average Joe in class" category.

The first few days of a new year or semester are always interesting. Everyone is smiling. The average topper is thrilled with the prospects of being introduced to things he probably already knows.He sits in class with that annoying smirk which Alexander (the Great. Not Captain Vijaykanth) might have had on his face when he found out that the next kingdom he planned to conquer was ruled by South Indian Brahmins (we are not the fighting type...just give us some food and we are happy).

The average loser (there was a time when I belonged to this) is smiling. Semesters don't matter to him. His is a case of bliss induced by ignorance. And he knows how to enjoy it. He knows that its going to be another semester of trying to learn things that he will not learn. Another semester of being in a trance in the classroom. He knows it's funny. And he smiles.

The median student is also smiling but it's an uncomfortable smile. I will tell you why. We are glad that the first few days will be spent on pointless things in class. New subjects will be introduced and basics will be run over. We feel like kings. "Hey! I know this!". We are happy that things seem easy. We are mildly happy that we may come across things that sounded so cool when others spoke about them. We know that we will be introduced to things we've probably only heard of. We know that we can cling to most of what's being said in class but we always need the "kind average topper's (an endangered species)" helping hand soon. We are worried that shortly we will write tests. Again, a time when we seem happy just before the test and disappointed soon after we start writing it (Of course the other groups are happy before and after). We know that "I think I'll do well this time" feeling too well to fall for it again. We know that we will punch the keys on calculators over and over thinking we have made mistakes in keying the number in.We believe that this semester is going to be different from all but we also know that the odds of that happening are pretty grim. We know it all.

It's not easy being the median student. It takes one to empathise. And I feel sorry for all my fellowmen. As for the rest of you...stay where you are. The grass IS greener there!

It's been 3 weeks since I shaved last. I must say, there's a certain a sense of joy and accomplishment in me as I look into the mirror every morning. I'm happy because I have finally come to realise that I am capable of flaunting a decent amount of facial hair and, the fact that I have managed to stick to my plan of growing a beard leaves me with a sense of accomplishment. It's no mean acheivement on my part especially since im not a natural at sticking to plans.

In the past 23 years several plans have been made but a pathetic few have been stuck to. Roughly six months after I was born I once planned to let my mother know that it was time for my next trip to the loo. But just when I was about to tell her, I was distracted by an annoying relative who scared me with his version of peek-a-boo. My plan went for a toss and I don't remember now whether I subsequenly cried because I wanted to go, or because the relative scared me. I planned to tell the person to not go anywhere near infants after I grew up a little, but of course that never happened. At roughly 10 I planned to become the greatest cricketer India ever produced, but somewhere down the line, guess what happened. I changed plans. Two weeks ago I planned to get ahead of class in my econometrics course and start of with a research paper that we have to submit. The next 2 weeks were spent playing a stupid (coming to think of it, a not so stupid) game on my computer everytime I got online with an eye on research. I'll stick to econometrics and tell you that the above examples are only part of a sample set.

In light of my horrendous track record in sticking to plans, my plan to grow a beard has been exceptionally successful. If you still don't feel my sense of joy and accomplishment, I pity you.