Lousy 23 yr Old

I just realised what a lousy 23 year old I am. I have come to note that I hate doing almost everything that my age group enjoys!
I guess just like there's supposed to be a little child in all of us, there's a boring, kid loving, teetotalling middle aged man in me. This blog has already got "Young women get repelled" all over it. And perhaps for the same reason I seem to appeal more to women who are atleast twice my age than those who are younger. Now don't get me wrong. I just seem sweet to all those older women. And that's not a good thing because I have to live up to that image everytime. It's not easy at all. I hate going to pubs, discos, bars or any other place which seems like "fun" to the average 23 yr old. I can't stand smoking or alcohol. It's not like I haven't tried them. But I just dont like them. Something's seriously wrong. I can't wait to be 40.

Free Riders

I admire free riders. It's not too surprising since I'm not really a "hard-worker". My ideal world, just like yours, would be the one of a free rider's. One in which the rewards I reap grossly outstrip my efforts. I'm going to try to make a list of some free riders I can think of.

a) Roommates who can't to cook

b) Passive weed smokers

c) Rich families' dogs (any of their uncaged pets for that matter)

d) The reserves in World Cup winning teams

e) Beach lifegaurds

f) People acting as lifeguards

g) That black musician in the Tonight's Show. (What's he doing there??...ummm..getting famous!)

h) Immigrant Kids

i) Women Bill Clinton knew (Come on! They got Clinton!)

Please add to the list if you can think of more.

Acting Busy

Being busy makes you seem important. And the closest most of us will get to seeming important is while acting busy. There's a certain art in making people believe you are busy. You cannot blog for a while and make it seem like you are really busy. But that is obviously based on the premise that your blogs are read by a lot of people. So if you have a blog thats as unpopular as mine (which I suspect is the case with you if you are reading this) or if you don't even have one, you have one less option.

Over time I have employed several other strategies.

Ignoring phone calls - This is probably the most common and it tops the list

Ignoring phone calls only to call back later - This quite neat because you don't end up looking rude. Of course I wouldn't employ this tactic on weekdays, unless its between 7am and7pm (US cellular calls are free at these times).

Using monosyllables to respond - Quite useful both over the phone or online.

Using Monosyllables to respond while pretending to be on the phone - This is great to fool more than one person. The person on the phone and people around me.

Sitting in libraries - Some of my most unproductive hours have been spent in the library. Yet I have somehow managed to look important AND smart to a lot of people by just being there. Thats an added advantage of being in libraries.

Over the years I have come to realise the several advantages in seeming busy to people when I'm not. Try it out. It's great!

The Median Student

The median student (not the average topper, not the average loser, but the average, average guy in any classroom) is a funny species. What goes through our minds is idiosyncratic to our kind and if you are not one, you cannot appreciate it. So this blog is dedicated to those of you who fall under the "Average Joe in class" category.

The first few days of a new year or semester are always interesting. Everyone is smiling. The average topper is thrilled with the prospects of being introduced to things he probably already knows.He sits in class with that annoying smirk which Alexander (the Great. Not Captain Vijaykanth) might have had on his face when he found out that the next kingdom he planned to conquer was ruled by South Indian Brahmins (we are not the fighting type...just give us some food and we are happy).

The average loser (there was a time when I belonged to this) is smiling. Semesters don't matter to him. His is a case of bliss induced by ignorance. And he knows how to enjoy it. He knows that its going to be another semester of trying to learn things that he will not learn. Another semester of being in a trance in the classroom. He knows it's funny. And he smiles.

The median student is also smiling but it's an uncomfortable smile. I will tell you why. We are glad that the first few days will be spent on pointless things in class. New subjects will be introduced and basics will be run over. We feel like kings. "Hey! I know this!". We are happy that things seem easy. We are mildly happy that we may come across things that sounded so cool when others spoke about them. We know that we will be introduced to things we've probably only heard of. We know that we can cling to most of what's being said in class but we always need the "kind average topper's (an endangered species)" helping hand soon. We are worried that shortly we will write tests. Again, a time when we seem happy just before the test and disappointed soon after we start writing it (Of course the other groups are happy before and after). We know that "I think I'll do well this time" feeling too well to fall for it again. We know that we will punch the keys on calculators over and over thinking we have made mistakes in keying the number in.We believe that this semester is going to be different from all but we also know that the odds of that happening are pretty grim. We know it all.

It's not easy being the median student. It takes one to empathise. And I feel sorry for all my fellowmen. As for the rest of you...stay where you are. The grass IS greener there!

It's been 3 weeks since I shaved last. I must say, there's a certain a sense of joy and accomplishment in me as I look into the mirror every morning. I'm happy because I have finally come to realise that I am capable of flaunting a decent amount of facial hair and, the fact that I have managed to stick to my plan of growing a beard leaves me with a sense of accomplishment. It's no mean acheivement on my part especially since im not a natural at sticking to plans.

In the past 23 years several plans have been made but a pathetic few have been stuck to. Roughly six months after I was born I once planned to let my mother know that it was time for my next trip to the loo. But just when I was about to tell her, I was distracted by an annoying relative who scared me with his version of peek-a-boo. My plan went for a toss and I don't remember now whether I subsequenly cried because I wanted to go, or because the relative scared me. I planned to tell the person to not go anywhere near infants after I grew up a little, but of course that never happened. At roughly 10 I planned to become the greatest cricketer India ever produced, but somewhere down the line, guess what happened. I changed plans. Two weeks ago I planned to get ahead of class in my econometrics course and start of with a research paper that we have to submit. The next 2 weeks were spent playing a stupid (coming to think of it, a not so stupid) game on my computer everytime I got online with an eye on research. I'll stick to econometrics and tell you that the above examples are only part of a sample set.

In light of my horrendous track record in sticking to plans, my plan to grow a beard has been exceptionally successful. If you still don't feel my sense of joy and accomplishment, I pity you.